Okay, it's post-graduation, and post-camp and seeing as I have more free time than the average bear I figure what better time to start blogging again?
For now a short, incomplete update:
I am a nanny on weekdays in the afternoon and two to three days a week I help out at mom's office. The money I'm making is helping me to finally build up some savings which is way good because I start paying off my school loans soon.
Every Friday morning I volunteer as a Keeper Aide in the Elephant House at the Nat'l Zoo. I love it and even though I have to get up at o'dark thirty in the morning, I look forward to going every week. I'm thinking of adding another day--possibly at the Small Mammal House if I can get it.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
"My denial is wearing off."
It's been hitting me little by little. Which, now that I think about it, is probably a lot better than it hitting me all at once. Anyway, I'm graduating and I'm kind of losing my cool.
I was talking with my roommate about graduation and I realized that I'll be driving back from graduation, away from Del Val, by myself. Not really looking forward to that trip. H suggested I ask one of my parents to ride in the car with me since they'll be at the ceremony. I told her that would be worse.
Friends and I went to the movies the other night and on the way home I realized that I only had two more Fridays left. for some reason, that was the first thing to make my eyes tear up about all this. It's the only thing so far, but we'll see how long I can hold out.
I was talking with friends the other day about...something, I don't remember what, and something was said that caused me to talk about how I was glad one of my friendships ended because it was keeping me too strongly tied to MD and I wasn't "fully embracing" my life at Del Val. I'm so glad I finally did, even if it does mean that I'm leaving home. I hadn't put it into words before then. I'm graduating and moving back to Maryland full time, back to where I came from, but I'm leaving Home.
I'm not scared to graduate anymore. I know that God has a plan for me, and that it's better than any plan I could come up with. It's all in His hands, and it's going to work out. So I'm not scared about it anymore. I'm just sad. Deeply sad.
I was talking with my roommate about graduation and I realized that I'll be driving back from graduation, away from Del Val, by myself. Not really looking forward to that trip. H suggested I ask one of my parents to ride in the car with me since they'll be at the ceremony. I told her that would be worse.
Friends and I went to the movies the other night and on the way home I realized that I only had two more Fridays left. for some reason, that was the first thing to make my eyes tear up about all this. It's the only thing so far, but we'll see how long I can hold out.
I was talking with friends the other day about...something, I don't remember what, and something was said that caused me to talk about how I was glad one of my friendships ended because it was keeping me too strongly tied to MD and I wasn't "fully embracing" my life at Del Val. I'm so glad I finally did, even if it does mean that I'm leaving home. I hadn't put it into words before then. I'm graduating and moving back to Maryland full time, back to where I came from, but I'm leaving Home.
I'm not scared to graduate anymore. I know that God has a plan for me, and that it's better than any plan I could come up with. It's all in His hands, and it's going to work out. So I'm not scared about it anymore. I'm just sad. Deeply sad.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
"Be an Example"
An excerpt from the Bible Study I just wrote out for tonight:
As I’ve been thinking about this ["this"= being an example] and related topics, I have been reminded once again that I’m not perfect. I am a sinner and I slip up over and over again. I’m not perfect, only He is perfect. I’m not perfect, but I don’t want my imperfection to get in the way of someone else’s journey toward perfection. I’m not perfect, but I want to act as perfect as I possibly can so that I can only be a support to others on their journey. I’ve said before that I wanted to be a person that "non-believers" could look to and watch to know what was right and wrong [if they were in a situation that caused them to question whether or not the action they were considering taking was a good thing to do. I want to try to be on my best behavior all the time and be the sort of person they know would choose the right action]. Recently I’ve come to the conclusion that not only should I try hard “publicly” in that way, but that I need to also be on my best behavior when I’m with my fellow Christians, especially those I’m most comfortable with. It’s so easy to slip into gossip for example. Anyway, this is just food for thought.
As I’ve been thinking about this ["this"= being an example] and related topics, I have been reminded once again that I’m not perfect. I am a sinner and I slip up over and over again. I’m not perfect, only He is perfect. I’m not perfect, but I don’t want my imperfection to get in the way of someone else’s journey toward perfection. I’m not perfect, but I want to act as perfect as I possibly can so that I can only be a support to others on their journey. I’ve said before that I wanted to be a person that "non-believers" could look to and watch to know what was right and wrong [if they were in a situation that caused them to question whether or not the action they were considering taking was a good thing to do. I want to try to be on my best behavior all the time and be the sort of person they know would choose the right action]. Recently I’ve come to the conclusion that not only should I try hard “publicly” in that way, but that I need to also be on my best behavior when I’m with my fellow Christians, especially those I’m most comfortable with. It’s so easy to slip into gossip for example. Anyway, this is just food for thought.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Stolen from Allie
Ten Things I wish I could say to ten [ish] different people right now:
1. I know you love me. You've proven it. I appreciate you for that. Know I'm just not ready yet.
2. I've never had a friendship like the one I have with you before, and I'm having a blast.
3. "Nice to meet you, I'm your other half."
4. You are a beautiful Daughter of God and I consider it a privilege and a blessing to know you.
5. I don't treat you as well as I should, and I'm sorry. I love you. I'll work on it.
6. I wish I knew you better after all these years.
7. I hope you get what you need in life. I'm so much better than when you knew me. I hope you forgave me.
9. Thank you for loving and accepting me even though you didn't have to.
10. I love you and I care about you. I believe in you. We will not loose touch.
Nine things about myself:
1. Orion is my favorite constellation.
2. I have issues with trust that I try to pretend don't exist.
3. I can't remember large chunks of my childhood, probably due to my talent for denial.
4. I'd much rather think about other people's problems than my own.
5. I can listen to someone talk as if I'm skim-reading a book. Comes in handy sometimes.
6. I don't have a favorite food and I never really have, even if I said I did.
7. When I got my braces off at the age of 18, I'd had them on for half of my life.
8. I'm impulsive, but I try really hard to hide/fight it.
9. I hate feeling misunderstood.
Eight Ways to Win my heart:
1. Hug me.
2. Tell me you care about me (and use other "words of affirmation").
3. Sit with me.
4. Seek me out.
5. Laugh with me.
6. Let me help you.
7. Help me even if I try to refuse it.
8. Show me you think I'm beautiful.
Seven things that Cross my mind a lot:
1. Faith.
2. Friendships.
3. My future.
4. My Someone.
5. Wondering what Allie is up to.
6. How I can build on my relationships.
7. School stuff.
Six things I do before I fall asleep: [no particular order]
1. Set my alarm.
2. Pray.
3. Locate my Blanket.
4. Read my Bible.
5. Think.
6. Pray about the things I forgot to pray about the first time.
Five People who Mean a lot to me [who are not biologically related to me]
1. Allie
2. Hillary
3. Greta
4.Sam
5. James
Four things I am wearing right now:
1. t-shirt
2. pj pants
3. bra
4. glasses
Three Songs I listen to often: [recently]
1.Wine Red - The Hush Sound
2. From The Inside Out - Kristian Stanfill
3. Je Fais de Toi Mon Essentiel - Le Roi Soleil
Two things I want to do before I die:
1. Have a career at a zoo.
2. Be a mom.
One Confession:
1. I don't give myself enough credit. Or I don't believe in myself enough. Choose your pick.
1. I know you love me. You've proven it. I appreciate you for that. Know I'm just not ready yet.
2. I've never had a friendship like the one I have with you before, and I'm having a blast.
3. "Nice to meet you, I'm your other half."
4. You are a beautiful Daughter of God and I consider it a privilege and a blessing to know you.
5. I don't treat you as well as I should, and I'm sorry. I love you. I'll work on it.
6. I wish I knew you better after all these years.
7. I hope you get what you need in life. I'm so much better than when you knew me. I hope you forgave me.
9. Thank you for loving and accepting me even though you didn't have to.
10. I love you and I care about you. I believe in you. We will not loose touch.
Nine things about myself:
1. Orion is my favorite constellation.
2. I have issues with trust that I try to pretend don't exist.
3. I can't remember large chunks of my childhood, probably due to my talent for denial.
4. I'd much rather think about other people's problems than my own.
5. I can listen to someone talk as if I'm skim-reading a book. Comes in handy sometimes.
6. I don't have a favorite food and I never really have, even if I said I did.
7. When I got my braces off at the age of 18, I'd had them on for half of my life.
8. I'm impulsive, but I try really hard to hide/fight it.
9. I hate feeling misunderstood.
Eight Ways to Win my heart:
1. Hug me.
2. Tell me you care about me (and use other "words of affirmation").
3. Sit with me.
4. Seek me out.
5. Laugh with me.
6. Let me help you.
7. Help me even if I try to refuse it.
8. Show me you think I'm beautiful.
Seven things that Cross my mind a lot:
1. Faith.
2. Friendships.
3. My future.
4. My Someone.
5. Wondering what Allie is up to.
6. How I can build on my relationships.
7. School stuff.
Six things I do before I fall asleep: [no particular order]
1. Set my alarm.
2. Pray.
3. Locate my Blanket.
4. Read my Bible.
5. Think.
6. Pray about the things I forgot to pray about the first time.
Five People who Mean a lot to me [who are not biologically related to me]
1. Allie
2. Hillary
3. Greta
4.Sam
5. James
Four things I am wearing right now:
1. t-shirt
2. pj pants
3. bra
4. glasses
Three Songs I listen to often: [recently]
1.Wine Red - The Hush Sound
2. From The Inside Out - Kristian Stanfill
3. Je Fais de Toi Mon Essentiel - Le Roi Soleil
Two things I want to do before I die:
1. Have a career at a zoo.
2. Be a mom.
One Confession:
1. I don't give myself enough credit. Or I don't believe in myself enough. Choose your pick.
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