Blessings to be counted.

G-pa is getting worse. He is so confused all the time now.

I finally let myself cry about it the other night. Lexi and Amiira were chatting and something made me think of G-pa. I got a bit sad and I was super tired, so I lay down closer to Lexi and listened in an attempt to keep my mind away from personal thoughts. Well, as I should have learned in the past, it is impossible for me to do that for long.

I think it was when Lexi mentioned her grandfather, but eventually, I sat up and a single tear ran down my cheek. They asked is I were ok, and when I started to explain, my words came out broken and full of the emotions I'd been trying to ignore since I first heard about G-pa's cancer. Lexi beckoned me closer and Amiira moved over to our couch. A few more tears and shudders came out of me while Lexi held me and Amiira offered advice. After awhile, things sort of ran their course and we all moved on to other things.

Later that night, after the light was out and Lexi and I had started settling in for the night, the thoughts of G-pa came back, and with them, the shuttering breaths that usually come before my tears. Of course, Lexi heard me, and she sat up with me for most of the night as I cried and shook. She really is good to me.

My Favorite Day

"Today is my favorite day."

Day 2 in Utah, folks, and I'm lovin' it. It is so good to hang out with Lex again after so many months! I'm still trying to let everything soak in: names, faces, stories, directions, everything. But I'm really really enjoying myself.

So far today I got to meet Lexi's wonderful little beetles. It was love at first sight, really. I even got to help her and BeetleMan change the branches in the large container of them. It basically entailed dumping all the stuff out and then searching through it for tiny beetle-bug-babies. BM thought I would think it was lame, but really, today is my favorite day. He gave Lexi an adult and three baby wee ones. We went on an adventure to try to find them a suitable home/container to live in. I think I am going on an adventure myself later on to get their food. Hopefully I won't get lost....heh, my brain is used to landmarks, not grid systems. I should be fine. I think...

More later.

Just a girl that I know...

To me, a friend is someone I would want to share the joys in my life with; someone with whom I would maybe want to share my sorrows.

She is not one of those people anymore. I don't trust her, and I don't get a warmish feeling when I think about her. It sounds sad, but I just don't think of her as a friend anymore. The situation is strange for me because the few times something like this has happened, it was decided for me that whatever person and I were no longer friends.

*sigh* It is too late at night for this to make any sense. Maybe I'll rewrite it later.

Free for another summer.

I took my last exam yesterday. Genetics. When mom asked me how I thought I did, I said, "Well, I know I made stuff up." Ha ha....no, I do think I did pretty well for myself this semester.

Now all I need to worry about is what to pack for Utah and how to fit in hanging out with FridgeBoy while working at my zoo. I think this is going to be an amazing summer. It is certainly starting off on the right foot.

Oh, the directionally-challenged...

A.k.a., my mother. I love her dearly, but sheesh. I just had to help her figure out what direction we were going down a road using the sun. No lie.

Sometimes, I'm awesome.

And sometimes, I'm thankful I take after my father in certain ways.....

*grin*