WWJD?

Greta and I had an interesting conversation last night. Interesting in a good way.

Sometimes when I say things (sentences), I'm not exactly sure where they're coming from/why I'm saying them, but I find myself repeating them in a conversation and feeling them literally resounding through me. It is then that I figure out where they came from/why I'm saying them. Heavenly Father has a funny way of doing that to me. Last night was one of those times. I actually stopped the conversation to jot down some notes, so I could record them here.

Anyway, we'd started discussing how a few of our friends had done something pretty funny, but that it made us uncomfortable. Hillary had asked some boys to take a sign for her. There was a no swimming or ice skating sign by the little pond on campus, and she gave a couple of them boxes of cheezits to bring it to her. And like, yeah, it's pretty funny. It's funny that she thought of it, it's funny that they brought it to her, it's funny that she has it hanging in her room now. But it's still wrong. Greta and I think that now the fun is over, they should give it back, though we've not tried to tell Hillary this yet. The other day, when we were sharing with her that she probably shouldn't have done it, she wasn't really receiving it well. She didn't get defensive quite, but she definitely thought we were being silly/stupid for worrying about "just a sign." I stopped trying to talk to her about it.

The situation still makes me uncomfortable though. It really got me thinking. Talking it out with Greta helped me come to some important conclusions.

Hillary is one of my best friends and she is a very good person and I respect her and love her very much. But as good a person as she is, Hillary is an example of someone who seems to fudge the little things sometimes. That is unfortunate because it is the little things that get us--little things add up. When we go back to the Father at the end of our days, it's going to be those little things that are gold stars on our "records." Black and white? That's easy. "Don't commit murder." Okay, cool. Got it. Obey authority? For example, don't speed. It's the law. It might be dumb, but it's the law. It is wrong to speed. Rules like that are not quite as easy to "accommodate" sometimes. It's a gray area. It's "fudgable." I fudge on it frequently in fact. It's those little things, those gray areas that The Enemy uses to trip us up. To guide our feet further and further along a slippery slope. Pile on enough little things, you'll slip.

And if we're not worried about ourselves, about our own salvation, what about non-believers? What about "greener" Christians? Shouldn't we be at least be worried about them? They look to us for an example of what is right. We become the standard for what is good. It may not be a conscious decision made by anyone involved, but the fact is we're being watched and our actions are being noticed and taken into account. Not everyone knows what's right and what's wrong. There's not quite a clear distinction. I want people who know me to be able to say, "What would Heather do?" and to know that what I would do is what Jesus would've done and what God wants me to do. To know that if what I'm doing is approved by them, that it is very much the right thing to do.

I wish that I had been a better friend and done my job by helping to hold my friend accountable for fudging on this.

It's just a sign. But it's also an inconvienence to those that now have to deal with the replacement of it. It's some one's money, some one's time. Taking that sign was still stealing, and so was asking someone to take it for you. Stealing is a sin. That's not gray. And it's definitely not white.

Amendment

My day improved drastically. =D I can't remember what began the improvements, but it was all rounded off with a nice conversation with Allie. I hadn't realized how much I was missing her! Maybe that was part of my problem, heh. Now I've had my fix and I'm good for awhile again. ;p

Excerpt from an E-mail

"I think I'm having one of those days...Ugh, I've just felt so...I don't even know all day today. I had a crappy night last night because I was watching mom's dog for her and he wouldn't let me sleep. Then I've just been off all day today. And now I'm sitting here next to a five page 'document' from my Devil-Incarnate anatomy professor that I'm going to have to make in to a 'flow sheet.' I'm being harsh, but I really, really don't like her at this moment. I'm tired, and I'm frustrated and I'm starting to feel Depressed which is really just the beginning of the end and since I have to function for the next several hours and tomorrow, I'm trying to fight it.

Also, I've been thinking about...your wedding and eventual moving away and for some reason it's really really hard. And I can't really figure out why. I mean, you've lived far away these past four years and it's been okay. I'm still sort of freaked out because I haven't met him, even though I feel dumb about that. Maybe that's not even it at all. Maybe I just feel like I still need you and this whole thing, while super good for you, just kind of leaves me feeling a little left in the dust. You're moving up and on in life, as you should. And I'm happy and excited for you. Remember that, okay? But I guess what I'm trying to say is please don't be offended if I'm a little scared, too. I'm just now realizing..."

The end of it was happier, I promise.

Sometimes I need to update my blog...

I'm home for the weekend. It's good to see my dogs. Even Shep attached himself to me for awhile after I got here. He even lay down on the floor next to me. I'm not sure he's done that since he was a puppy.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with the surgeon. I'm not nervous about it, because I'm not afraid of the surgery. I do however feel apprehensive about it because my winter break is getting busier and busier and I would really like to be able to drive. And you know, walk. Sort of. Maybe hobble? Or crutch? *sigh*

I've been sick this week, but I think that I'm finally getting better. Greta took pretty good care of me. Sometimes it's nice not to have to be "the mom." Actually, despite being sick, this week was a good one. I had an Anat and Phys test on Monday, that I actually think I did well on. We'll see about that. The rest of the day was nice because my lab was canceled. Tuesday was fairly normal. Wednesday was a Thursday schedule so Nosey Bear came for his weekly visit (he's a dog that belongs to a friend of mine. My roommates and I watch him while she's in class on Thursday mornings). Then my classes were canceled because my one lab was scheduled for a trip to the zoo. That was pretty neat. I met my new hero. This guy started working at the zoo 15 years ago as a fry cook in the little food place there. Then he did the internship required by my school there, then he graduated from my school in 2000. 8 years later, and he's the General Curator. My hero. Anyway, so then today we had off school and Greta and I hung out and went to a fabric store and then at 7 something I drove home.

The End.

Rockin' Lock-In 2008

This weekend was a blast. It was crazy and chaotic and wonderful and terrific and I'm really sore.

I got good feedback about my "talk" and the music I helped organize went well too.

I'm so glad Carolyn was able to make it and that Chris and Scott decided to come.

I love IVCF. =)

"Talk" for IVCF

Survivor – In the World as a Christian

In the times after Jesus died, the world was a dangerous place for His flock: All but one of His apostles were violently killed for trying to preach the Gospel. They were stoned, crucified and beaten to death. Many other believers met in secret, fearing for their lives. It was either openly proclaim your faith in the Truth and probably be killed, or hide it fearfully in the hopes that you weren’t found out. A dangerous time for Christ’s followers. Some individuals were bolder than others, though they generally still felt the need for secrecy. A code was developed to know when one was speaking with another believer. If you were a traveler during this time, and you came upon a stranger on the road and you thought they might be a fellow Christian, you would draw an arc in the sand. If the stranger were just a stranger, they might just think you were a crazy person and leave in a hurry (ha) or, if the stranger were follower of Christ, they would draw another arc, forming a rough outline of a fish. This image was a representation for the Greek word for fish: “ichthys.” It is said that the Greek letters for “ichthys” formed an acronym that stood for “Jesus Christ, God’s Son, Savior.” This code was also thought to indicate new meeting places for Christian congregations meeting in secret.

Today, we don’t need secret codes or hiding places; we can be vocal and demonstrative about our faith. We can meet when we want, where we want with out the fear of losing our lives for what we believe in. (At least, mostly.) Just because we don’t have to hide our faith doesn’t mean that we are in any less danger today. 1 Peter 5:8 says, “…Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” We are in danger. Every moment of every day. 1 Peter 5:8 says, “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” He’s out to get you. As believers, we are a threat to him.

Some of the tools Satan uses against us are Fear, Stress, and Temptation. Now, everyone here is perfect, so none of you have any idea what I’m talking about, right? Yeah, I’m sure. As college students, we’re in the thick of it. It’s a time when most people are trying to figure out what direction their lives are taking and the road is rockier for some than for others.

When I left high school four years ago, I thought that I had conquered my Depression. I thought I’d defeated the gray haze that took my life from me every so often. I was wrong. When I got to college, the Enemy used every opportunity I gave him to beat me over the head with my weakness. He hit me hard and fast and left me dizzy and despairing. The stress of college took over my life. I felt like I was drowning. On the way down I grasped at everything I could think of (which didn’t end up amounting to much) but it was when I felt broken and like I had nothing left that I stopped trying to fight it on my own and turned to God. That was so much easier! I don’t know how people who don’t know God can stand everyday and walk under the weight of the world. I need every bit of help the Lord gives me, and even with it, I still stumble.

While leaning on God is what He wants us to do and what we should do, it can make life harder for us in a way. Being an active believer has its obvious benefits, but it also puts obstacles in our way. It draws attention to us. We can just blend in with the crowd—not quite. At least, we shouldn’t be able to if we’re doing it right. Just kidding! Matthew 5:16 tells us to “let [our] light shine before men” and in doing so, it sets us apart. Being different from the masses can be hard. Our differences make many people uncomfortable and they don’t welcome our nonconformity. John 15:19 says, “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” We are not of this world. We aspire to something better; we are called to something greater.

Don’t be fooled by this world we live in. Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security. Though this is not the age of secret meetings or coded messages, I hope that we can still feel the danger around us as the first Christians did. We don’t need to fear being stoned or crucified, but the threat is just as real. As it says in Ephesians 6:12, “…our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Luckily for us, Heavenly Father has provided us with tools to survive in the world as a Christian: “Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:14-17. The Lord has equipped us for our role in the world today; we just have to tap into it all by communicating with Him and by being conscious of our “spiritual status.” Keep tabs on it. If you don’t know where you stand, you’re vulnerable to being attacked by any of the many weapons at Satan’s disposal. So, friends, “Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.” (Ephesians 6:11). That’s the only way we can successfully survive in this world as committed Christians.

'Cause that's not what Life is for.

As I was walking back to my dorm this evening, listening to the rain around me, and to the crickets and frogs and other night things, avoiding worms on the sidewalk, and swinging my umbrella around but not using it, I wondered why campus couldn't always be that peaceful. Why life couldn't always be that peaceful. Why it couldn't be as peaceful as raindrops at night, or being cozied up on a couch with friends, or painting, or many other things. Why couldn't our existence just be a bunch of those moments strung together? I wondered about these things as I walked back to my dorm room this evening.

Even though I already knew the answer.