Limbo isn't a state, but Maine is.

"Limbo," as defined by Dictionary.com:

• an intermediate, transitional, or midway state or place.
• a place or state of imprisonment or confinement.

I think many of us are guilty of complaining about being in a situation/state of being/phase of life commonly referred to as "limbo." I know I am.

I've been out of school for almost two years now, I'm working at a part time job that I don't always like, I spend a ton of time sitting alone on my little couch in my poorly lit basement playing Farmville researching career options... And I find myself feeling disgruntled because it has got to get better than this. What ever "it" is.

I keep talking at God, "asking" Him to make it better, to help me move on the the next thing. To finally stinking transition already. I tell Him I'm tired of being in limbo and I want what's next. I want to move on. To move out of where I'm at, to move on with my life, to move on to what is next. (See a common theme here yet? No? Here:) I have been wanting to be done with what is happening right now, and start doing the next thing.

I've been thinking lately though. (Dangerous, I know. I promise I won't hurt myself.) In order to get to the next thing, it would make sense that I'd be moving on from something, right? I've always thought of limbo as...nothing. Doing nothing. Experiencing nothing. Nothing worthwhile anyway. But...if I'm going to God because I know He's going to give me what is next, doesn't that mean that He gave me what is now?

This, right now, what I've been experiencing (or I think in my case, missing) is part of my life. Part of the life that God created for me. He crafted these moments that I have been complaining about. How much could I have learned these past few months if I had only been paying attention?

Limbo is not a state of being. I officially refute those definitions! Limbo is a choice. Limbo is an awkward dance game often made more difficult by the use of roller skates and it is a game that I have never enjoyed in the past--and actually avoided--so why, why have I chosen to play this stupid game for so long???

How, though, do we switch from bending over backward in this stupid game just to move forward, to living the moments God has given us?

I don't actually know the answer to that question. Sorry. I don't really have an wisdom to pass on to all two of you who might read this. Believe me, if I did know the answer to that question, I would be even more popular than I already am. (Just kidding. I'm too awesome to be popular. Just kidding. I'm so popular there aren't any more people left to like me, so I can't even get more popular... Just kidding.)

I can tell you that I've decided to be proactive. I'm going to pursue every door that is presented to me, and I'm going to try to be better at listening to God instead of just talking to Him.

I'm also going to find worth in what I'm doing right now, at this stage of my life. I get to see my mom way more than I have in the past few years because I work with her. I get to help out with Overflow and be with camp kids and camp people even though it's not summer. I get to go to Pennsylvania to see my friends pretty much whenever I want. And I'm still figuring out the rest.

So anyway. The moral of the story: Don't play limbo, kids. It's super lame.

"This is why it is said:
'Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.'
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Ephesians 5:14-20

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
1 Corinthians 10:31

Don't drown in those Deep Thoughts.

I've noticed since I first felt called to go to South Korea that I have picked and chosen who to tell the "real" reason to when I was asked, "Why South Korea?" I would tell most of them that it was because it paid well, or that I thought it would be a good experience. I was reluctant to tell people the real reason...

I felt...embarrassed to tell them that it wasn't my idea. That God told me He wanted me to go. That no, I didn't know why or what for exactly.

I think I justified it by telling myself that they wouldn't understand. Well...I never really gave them a chance to understand, did I? And why does everyone need to understand? Isn't that the whole point? To share God and His love and purpose with those who don't know Him yet? I was too worried about what people would think of me. And THAT is what I should be embarrassed about.

On my way to PA a couple of weeks ago, a car in front of me had a bumper sticker that said "Own your faith." I was...taken by surprise. Such a simple concept that I had just been missing so completely.

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in?

And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard?..."

Romans 10:14

God's got other plans.

The director of the school has decided not to hire me after all. It seemed a little like she was searching for reasons not to, so I guess she just had second thoughts. Ken thinks it's best we look for other schools. So no Eunpyeong SLP for me.

At this moment in time I don't feel too super disappointed or stressed but I think that's because I had a little bit of warning? I don't know.

Anyway, this means that SLP was not a part of God's plan for me. Whatever school I end up with just must be ten thousand times better.

"Jesus replied, 'You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

John 13:7