Limbo isn't a state, but Maine is.

"Limbo," as defined by Dictionary.com:

• an intermediate, transitional, or midway state or place.
• a place or state of imprisonment or confinement.

I think many of us are guilty of complaining about being in a situation/state of being/phase of life commonly referred to as "limbo." I know I am.

I've been out of school for almost two years now, I'm working at a part time job that I don't always like, I spend a ton of time sitting alone on my little couch in my poorly lit basement playing Farmville researching career options... And I find myself feeling disgruntled because it has got to get better than this. What ever "it" is.

I keep talking at God, "asking" Him to make it better, to help me move on the the next thing. To finally stinking transition already. I tell Him I'm tired of being in limbo and I want what's next. I want to move on. To move out of where I'm at, to move on with my life, to move on to what is next. (See a common theme here yet? No? Here:) I have been wanting to be done with what is happening right now, and start doing the next thing.

I've been thinking lately though. (Dangerous, I know. I promise I won't hurt myself.) In order to get to the next thing, it would make sense that I'd be moving on from something, right? I've always thought of limbo as...nothing. Doing nothing. Experiencing nothing. Nothing worthwhile anyway. But...if I'm going to God because I know He's going to give me what is next, doesn't that mean that He gave me what is now?

This, right now, what I've been experiencing (or I think in my case, missing) is part of my life. Part of the life that God created for me. He crafted these moments that I have been complaining about. How much could I have learned these past few months if I had only been paying attention?

Limbo is not a state of being. I officially refute those definitions! Limbo is a choice. Limbo is an awkward dance game often made more difficult by the use of roller skates and it is a game that I have never enjoyed in the past--and actually avoided--so why, why have I chosen to play this stupid game for so long???

How, though, do we switch from bending over backward in this stupid game just to move forward, to living the moments God has given us?

I don't actually know the answer to that question. Sorry. I don't really have an wisdom to pass on to all two of you who might read this. Believe me, if I did know the answer to that question, I would be even more popular than I already am. (Just kidding. I'm too awesome to be popular. Just kidding. I'm so popular there aren't any more people left to like me, so I can't even get more popular... Just kidding.)

I can tell you that I've decided to be proactive. I'm going to pursue every door that is presented to me, and I'm going to try to be better at listening to God instead of just talking to Him.

I'm also going to find worth in what I'm doing right now, at this stage of my life. I get to see my mom way more than I have in the past few years because I work with her. I get to help out with Overflow and be with camp kids and camp people even though it's not summer. I get to go to Pennsylvania to see my friends pretty much whenever I want. And I'm still figuring out the rest.

So anyway. The moral of the story: Don't play limbo, kids. It's super lame.

"This is why it is said:
'Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.'
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Ephesians 5:14-20

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
1 Corinthians 10:31

Don't drown in those Deep Thoughts.

I've noticed since I first felt called to go to South Korea that I have picked and chosen who to tell the "real" reason to when I was asked, "Why South Korea?" I would tell most of them that it was because it paid well, or that I thought it would be a good experience. I was reluctant to tell people the real reason...

I felt...embarrassed to tell them that it wasn't my idea. That God told me He wanted me to go. That no, I didn't know why or what for exactly.

I think I justified it by telling myself that they wouldn't understand. Well...I never really gave them a chance to understand, did I? And why does everyone need to understand? Isn't that the whole point? To share God and His love and purpose with those who don't know Him yet? I was too worried about what people would think of me. And THAT is what I should be embarrassed about.

On my way to PA a couple of weeks ago, a car in front of me had a bumper sticker that said "Own your faith." I was...taken by surprise. Such a simple concept that I had just been missing so completely.

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in?

And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard?..."

Romans 10:14

God's got other plans.

The director of the school has decided not to hire me after all. It seemed a little like she was searching for reasons not to, so I guess she just had second thoughts. Ken thinks it's best we look for other schools. So no Eunpyeong SLP for me.

At this moment in time I don't feel too super disappointed or stressed but I think that's because I had a little bit of warning? I don't know.

Anyway, this means that SLP was not a part of God's plan for me. Whatever school I end up with just must be ten thousand times better.

"Jesus replied, 'You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."

John 13:7

"Oh, you're interested in kindergarden?

Most others find it very hard."

"Oh really? That's...thanks. Yes, I'm interested in working with younger children...uhh..." What...was that supposed to mean exactly?


This is a few days late, but I feel I have some catching up to do here. That lady I had the interview with? The one curious about my eating habits? (Haha she was very nice!) Well during our first conversation she seemed [pleasantly] surprised that I was interested in teaching younger kids. Apparently, a lot of people found them very challenging (I guess in a negative way). She said she would consider me for the kindergarten program at her school. The next night she called again for a follow-up to our interview and I got the chance to ask her my questions. A few minutes after I got off the phone with her I got a message from Ken, my recruiter, saying I was being offered the job.

Long story short, a couple days later I decided to take the job. I'm still apprehensive about some things (I'm moving out of the country after all) but I really feel that this is the one that God chose for me. I feel good about it. Confident. About this part at least.

Anyway, in mid-February I will leave to begin two weeks of training and in March I will start teaching at Eunpyeong SLP near Gusan station in Seoul. I guess I'm another step closer.

*****

In other news, I just realized I've been spelling "kindergarten" incorrectly for...I don't know how long. It has a "t", not a "d". Just in case you were wondering. Now you're probably also wondering if it's a good idea to make me responsible for teaching our language to young children... Well, let's all just hope my supervisor doesn't start reading my blog.

"Do you eat meat?"

Now that I've officially started the process of interviewing with schools I'm beginning to realize just how much of a culture shock I'm in for when I finally make it to Korea. I mean, it's going to be fine. I'm just amused.

I've only had two interviews so far, so I am in no way an expert on Korean job interviews. However, in both instances the person asked me what I consider to be some pretty random questions. Now originally the goal of this post was to document a few of said amusing questions. As I sat down to write them out though, I realized that I don't remember most of the ones I found funny and those I do remember are not funny out of context.

The one question that I do remember and still find humorous is this one:

"Do you eat meat?"

Obviously this lady* knows far more about the intricacies of hiring an individual to teach a second language to children than I do. Why, yes. Yes I do eat meat. Do carnivorous teachers have an easier time controlling the students?

...

There is probably a method. But maybe just madness.

*The woman who asked me this question was really very sweet and I came away from that interview very pleased.

Oh. Em. Geeeeee!

I think I can say with confidence that this is one of the top ten funniest things I have ever seen. Ever.

Prepare yourself.

Just an update.

I'm really not very good at this blogging thing anymore. Oh, well. I've been inspired by Shannon and Tricia and motivated by my boredom. Until I actually get to Korea I don't think this blog will be as interesting as either of the other girls', and it will never be as well written as Tricia's, but I do enjoy blogging when I actually get around to it.

For now, a quick update:

Camp this summer was AMAZING. I had a new position as an Admin and I wasn't looking forward to it at first. (I actually cried...) As the summer wore on though, I grew to really really love it. I got to know all the counselors and I was able to hang out with all the different age groups of campers. There were some rough moments, but that's to be expected. If I ever get to go back to camp, I would want to be an Admin again.

Camp is over and my paperwork is finally in and now I'm waiting to hear about the right job. I've been told about two so far. The first one sounded pretty good. It was a 9-6 deal with good pay teaching elementary-aged kids. It ended up falling through for some reason though before we could successfully schedule an interview. I really think that was an answer to prayer because had I been offered the job I think I would have stressed over wondering if it was the right one or not. I'm not exactly sure how to explain that one... I told my recruiter I wasn't interested in the second job because the hours were 2pm to 9 or 10pm. Yeah, no.

For now I'm working two days a week at Hot Springs again, helping Nana about once a week with a few things, and spending the rest of my time thinking way too much and playing a lot of FarmVille. Yes, I am a loser.

"Dear God...You want me to go WHERE?!"

A lot has happened since my last post:

I'm no longer a nanny.
I work two and a half days a week at Hot Springs with mom.
I got a Keeper Aide Position at the Small Mammal House on Monday mornings and I love it.
And oh yeah, I'm going to South Korea.

On Valentine's Day, Kara and I were on our way home from meeting Joanna at Cheesecake Factory. We were both talking about how we didn't really have plans after camp this summer, and Kara mentioned that for a long time she's been thinking about going to South Korea to teach English. During the course of our conversation, she decided that's what she was definitely going to do and I started to feel that God was trying to tell me something. I wasn't sure what at the time, just that He wanted me to do something that was going to be way off the track I thought I was on. I later figured out He meant going to South Korea too. It scared the crap out of me. To say the least.

Through lots and lots of prayer and agonizing over the situation, I decided/figured out/whatever that going to South Korea really was what God wanted me to do. That was on March 21st. Since then my head has been spinning over recruiters, paper work, a TESOL course, packing lists, the feeling of time running out and personal insecurities...

I know that this experience is going to be all about being stretched for me... God has big plans for the year I'll be away. Starting in September, I'll be several time zones away from all but one of my [current] friends on the opposite side of the Earth, living on my own [for real] for the first time, in a country where I won't be able to read street signs or the names of products in the stores, where there is strange food and very few people who speak English, doing a job I've never seriously considered before. Just thinking about it all is a very stretching experience. But I know that it is going to be okay. Because God is sending me there.