From the Inside Out

"Your will above all else, my purpose remains

The art of losing myself in bringing you praise...

In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control

Consume me from the inside out Lord."

~ "From the Inside Out" by Hillsong United

If I learned anything this summer, I learned that I was wrong about how much I trusted Heavenly Father. I figured, "Okay, cool. Got it down. Check that one off the list." Wrong. Really wrong. I can't remember ever getting so many obvious...signs?... in such a short amount of time. Basically, I would freak out about whatever situation and then He would fix it so I realized that I just needed to trust Him, or I would freak out about whatever situation until I realized that I needed to trust Him and then He would fix it. So I'm trying to work on it. Last night at Bible study I realized that it is not my first reaction to bring my problems to Him. I freak out about it first and have several very selfish moments, and then I ask Him for help. So I'm trying to work on that, too.

I found out this morning that I'm not welcome back at Starbucks. Here at school, that is. I mean, I sort of saw it coming. Sort of. Anyway, I figure I wasn't really looking forward to working with that manager again, so this is just Heavenly Father's way of...nudging me in a different direction, away from Starbucks. Eventually I'll quit the company all together, move on with life. For now I'll work there when I go home. Hopefully... So I've started looking for a job. I hate job searching. It's one reason that I've been at the Bucks for almost four years now. Anyway. The point is, when I found out for sure that I wasn't going back and I didn't have a job, I prayed about it [almost] right away. So yeah. I'm trying.